why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
i just used my scantron for my final to make paper shotglasses. i'd say i passed in flying colors.
margarita wednesday is really going to dip into new year's eve thursday
I kept telling myself all night that it was completely okay for me to lose all sense of my morals because it was my birthday.
went for icecream. accidentally deepthroated it. my mom gave me a dirty look, but the kid behind the counter looked impressed
You were rubbing your foot on one of your legs and kept saying, "My sock feels like a waterslide!"
how did i get to the car and why are my shoes broken
Give him a trash can and a welcome home balloon, he will be good.
Ecstasy should be its own food group.
The funny thing is, we kinda did bring guys home cause you had a fort...
I think curling is the best thing to watch when you're baked.
dude I don't even care if I'm getting catfished the point is I'm going to get laid. hot bitch, fat bitch, skanky bitch, i don't care my penis is having an adventure tonight regardless
She had never heard the term "grundle" before. Classiest girl I've met in months
Well just give me the address, I'll bring the bourbon. If they let that into mental institutions
I don't know who's idea it was to get wine for a frat party but my poor pitiful hung over self really fucking hates them.
Randomize