I just went to a chocolate syrup wrestling party I think you need to get on my level
Is there any way you can check to see if I have a warrant out in Alabama?
Any little, cute, petite blondes with you?
Nah, I got some slutty brunettes though.
He woke up, got my bottle of water and poured it on me and then went back to sleep. Not really how I want to wake up at 2 a.m.
It was a cry at the bar alone type of night, served with a side of passing out facedown in my nachos.
i just found this napkin with your number on it in my jacket pocket. it reads amy, drawing of a wine bottle and a house
He told me that if I were a guy he'd go gay for me. Honestly don't know how to take that.
My team for a project is gonna have weekly meetings at a bar. yessss. they will do all the work while i thor hammer down beers.
It's hard to judge what a reasonable amount of cereal looks like in the spaghetti pot. We're out of cap'n crunch and milk.
I want your cock.
All we are is dust in the wiiiiiiinnnnnnnnnnd
That's why you need to have them together. Katie started crying on the couch and she just gave her a tube of crackers and picked up a beer at the same time. She's like a goddess of making things chill
There is a car windscreen wiper in my handbag... Not my car's, not ok.
Once again I let my vagina make the decisions...that and vodka :(
when i saw him today i think my vagina did the equivalent of a stomach growl... its been to long
If I hear that song one more time I will drive to hell and make John Lennon eat my ass.
Randomize
