drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
and everytime i fart i feel like in your heart, you can hear it
Also, just saw a kid in a gorilla costume being questioned by a boardwalk cop. I love ocean city.
I've created a drink called, "watching the sound of music with grandma." its straight vodka
He told me I just kept sending him the word sex and dollar signs.
ill give you food and tequilla and penis and joy
That girl is nothing but trouble. She's 40% red hair and 60% daddy issues.
Thanks for the cold. I shartted and sat through a whole soccer game. James made 3 scores.
Trying to convince myself that everyone keeps staring at me because I'm pretty and not because of my hickies.
I'm going to text my booty call and tell him nevermind, that I got the job finished by myself. That will teach him to text back faster.
This lesson is brought you by a psychology class.
In the pie chart of my life, she is a huge part of why I drink.
Good!!! I'm so proud of you for not snorting alcohol. Big girl steps.
I'm at the store buying a new phone cause I pissed all over mine last night. Drunk me is expensive as shit.
Pumped to get "pass out-wake up in Berlin-buy a chinchilla" drunk?
Randomize
