Actually, all he talks about is how great the sex is with her and how crappy you were at it. Stop being a bitch and gossiping masking it as self-righteousness.
you told the cop you blew a .08 because you ate poppy seeds
I love having a boyfriend. I just ate pancakes with regular syrup and chocolate syrup, I havent shaved my legs in a week, and Im still going to get laid tonight.
fuck. you.
I saw the video from Saturday. So, how much did I drink for me to think I was a duck and strip my clothes?
He licked the chalk off his shirt, then spat the Mountain Dew from his mouth onto the shirt and sucked on it. And thats him sober.
I think mom knows I'm drunk I put a full blown balloon in the fridge.
I honestly can't remember your justification for putting peanut butter on your cell phone.
It wasn't like a party or anything. They played PlayStation and talked about sports. Then I threw up on his porch.
Apparently coming home smelling like I took a bath in beer is frowned upon in this household. I'm so glad I don't actually live here.
Just an FYI if we break up I'm going to sleep with your cousin or who ever my dealer is.
guy next to me on the train just pulled out two bottles of gin and a block of cheddar. is slowly making his way through all of them.
If he survived pride he can survive a gay bar
Leave it to you to bring a trash can into a fist fight.
you could be the only one getting laid right now....yet your sitting in here making goat noises
You know what i hate? I hate when the ppl you drunkenly made out with actually want to talk to you sober. It just doesn't work that way sir.
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