I am puke
Everytime she tries to call me all I can think about is when she tripped walking down my steps during her walk of shame. Then I laugh until it goes to voicemail
So I called her out for all the gossip she does and she's like "you do the same, bitch"
So I was like "Im classy like the Countess, youre just a bitch like Kim."
Kudos on the Interstate Housewife metaphor.
Leave it to him to get us kicked out of a bar for hitting on an 80 year old woman. I want to be that wasted one day.
I'm not giving my ex her earrings back. If some chick i hated gave me brownies i would still eat them. It's the same thing.
I don't know if I have the sustained energy level for partying hard
Not a choice. You are mistaking my comments as options. My statements are facts. This is what is happening.
DICK PUNCH EXTRAVAGANZAAAAAA!!!!!
Passed out drunk in a tanning bed...
Did At The Beach call the fire department to get you like last time?
I want you to get your positive energy all over me. I want to to look like something from Ghostbusters.
He had to put the child locks on the windows so you would stop screaming at random boys
Oh god now he thinks I'm into him because I've been staring at him trying to figure out what animal he looked like
slept at my ex’s house last night and as i was leaving his brother was sitting there on the sofa and said “bet you regret that one don’t ya”
What are you gunna do with your life today
put it back together
RESPOND QUICKLY THIS IS AN EMERGENCY!!! LITERALLY AN 11 INCH DICK!!!!! HELP.
The covid immunization shot lady also sold me a mondo bag of really good pot.
Randomize
