3:38a: you guys up to anything right now?
Don't threaten to terrorize my ass hole unless you have to wherewithal to back it up
Michael Bay diarrhea
Im a photoshop master, i successfully reduced the size of the pupils of all the girls I made out last night with to prove they were not that drunk. So glad the camera goes home with me.
I think need to divide my DVD collection into "movies I've seen" and "movies I've only seen during sex"
I hated hipsters before it was mainstream.
RJ thinks I should put one of the muffins in my vagina. Good idea or bad idea?
We eventually had to ration the melon vodka. 10 pushups per shot. THATS why my arms hurt
The Supreme Court upheld health insurance. If that's not an excuse to get hospital drunk, I don't know what is.
It's been over a year since we've been get-so-drunk-you-throw-beer-cans-at-fat-girls-drunk together. That needs to change.
Well he fell three stories from the balcony and still had the strength to fuck me for 2 hours.
I won't be able to get a boner for a month
Challenge accepted.
last thing I remember is yelling 'sit on my face' through a traffic cone
I just had a drunk lesbian experience.... How do I break it to my boyfriend??
Men are too sensitive. They need to learn to handle me.
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