We won't sleep together?
last night i used 411 to try and contact britney spears.
dollar well spent
If I see one more commercial for The Secret Life of the American Teenager, I'm going to punch the next teenage girl I see in the uterus and scream, "Wear a condom!"
I can't lisssten to Lou Holtzsss ssspeak anymore
You look at her and you just know the only action she's gotten is from her tampon..
mom and dad are leaving for florida on 4/20, this is a sign
just convinced someone I was a virgin. I love when people don't know me.
the fact that he forgave me for making out with the bartender is proof that i can fuck my way out of anything.
He texted back and said he would hook up if he didn't have a test at 8am. It's really hard to be annoyed by how good of a student he is.
Yeah that sucks. That's why I stick to deadbeat sports management majors.
You bought champagne and told everyone it was because I'd just found out I was pregnant. How exactly is that being a good wingman?
Every grown women needs to pee herself once in her life. It builds character.
The multiple male orgasm is a real thing. I've seen it. I've caused it. I called him a unicorn.
I'm hammerd and his penis is still the size of a giraffe's neck
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
whole 5th of capt = waking up in the shower after 2 hours and the whole house asking why i'm STILL in a towel. and me having nothing to say
Randomize
