belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
I puked in a mailbox on the way back from your house.
I'm like connect-the-dots of drunk. Whiskey, bourbon, vodka, rum, gin. The hidden picture is me faceplanting.
You know that hot fire fighter I fucked yesterday? Well him and two other guys are killing the fire on my stove. Awkward.
I dont even clean my room anymore .. i drunk proof it for when i come back smashed with a guy
she just took adderol and chased it w dog water
I guess I puked all over my hand too and I just looked at my roommate and said, "fix this."
at one point he was caressing me in the kitchen asking me my name over and over again and then asking what my favorite continent was
I didn't know where we were going to start fucking, so I just strategically hid condoms all over the house before he came over.
So the " I'm gay but curious" thing worked. You owe me 50 bucks.
Yeah yeah, I don't care. I bought a super soaker, so lets please go attracting attention by spraying each other while wearing white tank tops?
My eczema on my back is flaring up so he rubbed coconut oil on it while we were boning down. If that's not a picture of 8 years married I dunno what is.
That moment when you realize the hot british guy named rory you drunkenly made out with at a bar is American, is named Tyler, and has a girlfriend.
I wrote a list of things I enjoy doing. So far it says "get high and go to museums."
I had a good weekend too...although I cried about the dog in a drunken stupor last night...not one of my finest moments, but it's all water under the bridge.
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