Plan A DEFINITELY worked... Go with me to get Plan B??
I have a dream, to one day wake up next to a girl, walk to the washroom and kick her kids toys out of the way. That day has come, yes we can.
You told me you were allowed to keep eating butter because it had just passed midnight and you were on the next day's daily fat servings
i think the doormans mad at me
well we haven't pretended to pretend we were going to have a threesome with him for a while...
Gave the kid in the wheelchair at the bus stop a beer and proceede to lift him on the bus. porch drinking brings out the best in everyone
Beer coozy in the gym. Don't judge me.
Dude. Cab ride home consisted of me making out with an Asian girl sitting next to my Dad
started my period, we have to try again next week
if we have anymore sex before that my dick is gonna fall off. that is in no way a complaint
it's the amount of time you spend on preventing me from puking that really cements this friendship
Killing two birds with one stone tonight: mastrabation meditation. Win win.
ill dress up as a sperm donor and you can go as the cup....
Would you think less of me if I said I was eating a toaster strudel in the bath.
She told me the only rule was that I couldn't cum on her Batman blanket.
He wrote his entire dissertation last night. I can only imagine the frightening amount of headway he would make if he ever did things sober.
Drunk purchased a negligee, plan b, keds and Himalayan salt shot glasses.. there’s only one reasonable purchase there, and we both know it’s not the sneakers
Randomize
