its time to go be "that drunk guy nobody knows"....again.
Buying weed on Christmas. Gotta love Jewish drug dealers
i have a new found respect for you. the amount of people you must have cockblocked last night is amazing
Say something like you want him to fuck you behind a McDonald's. Guys secretly love weird shit like that.
Bring single women, or taken women who are unhappy with their relationships, or women who are happy with their relationships but have low moral standards, or women who just like to remove clothing when drunk (relationship status is unimportant for this option)
He had seven beers and tap-danced on the table like a pro. HOW DOES HE DO IT
We should start a Help That Bitch Out Fund and split the donations evenly between you two.
he had me stop mid-blow job to make me use my phone to id a song on the radio..
i wasnt really sure how to responde to that.
THAT IS NOT SOMETHING YOU TELL SOMEBODY THE FIRST TIME YOU MEET THEM IN THE DARK.
It is way too early in the summer for me to be coming into work still drunk.
Would I waste your time for mediocre porn?
I'm like still hungover from the quinceanera.
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
Hi,\n\nYou left your underwear in my Uber. Thanks and bye.
and eventually we just all took our pants off
Randomize
