How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
I kind of had a moment like that kid whose mom cancelled his WoW subscription, except I didn't try to shove a remote control up my own ass.
So shortly after drunk sex...she starts crying and saying..." you don't care about me, you never do anything nice for me" so I called her a cab
So i just bought beer on a credit card, using a fake ID, while wearing my nametag from work. All 3 have different names on them. God i love my boobs.
Nothin says happy bday jesus like a shot with your loved ones.
I think I get why guys like boobs so much. I just motorboated myself and it's fun. My boobs feel soft and squishy on my face.
Due to our sore throats we are now doing bong hits with cranberry juice to sooth it.
that freshman chick we always see on the weekends walked into art class wearing a jaegermeister shirt and holding a monster, which she proceeded to shotgun with a pair of scissors. It sickens me to know I will never achieve her level
I NEED YOU TO TELL ME ITS OKAY TO BE THIS HIGH
Yes
O.K.
Oh my god. A memory of last night just came to me. One of our neighbors joked about Thomas having a big dick and I just kept shaking my head profusely.
I am. I woke up on someone's front lawn dressed as max Payne also be proud.
We celebrated our relationship by shotgunning beers on his lawn in our underwear. I may have to marry this man...
I would rather her be sleeping with someone new than getting to go Harry Potter world before me...
We're at an agreement where I don't pry and she pretends blissful ignorance
If I had any lingering questions about my sexuality, the strip club tonight verified I'm 100% gay
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