Hey it's Austin.
I am not drunk enough for this conversation.
You kept shouting "Relax and take notes" every time before you would hit the blunt
I'm 2 blowjobs away from girlfriend status....don't tell me I don't know how to have an adult relationship
My google history shows every combination of "red lobster cheesy biscuits" possible.
I just found cold cuts in the blender. You and beefeater can no longer have unsupervised parties.
next photo in the 'cherished memories' series- Jess's bed. Note the vomit actually UNDER the pillows. shes a genius.
I'm eating those little wheels of cheese and watching storage wars, this is the opposite of sex.
You always seem to be able to bribe me with tequila and Mac and cheese. This relationship of ours will cause me health problems someday.
Nothing says "future AA member" like bonging 40's out of a plastic flamingo.
Giving you good advice and being naked are not mutually exclusive.
It's time to run my sex life like a basketball team. Got the lesson Clint!
You partied and then got cock slapped, Don't tell me you didn't have fun
Of course I fucked him. He was wearing a rainbow cock sock and cowboy boots.
dude can you explain to me why i woke up on your sisters floor with moutain dew and chips everywhere
i dont know im at your house.
This lady is talking to me and all I can think about is getting face fucked and doing cocaine. Not neccesarily together and not neccesarily in that order
Randomize
