PS- did you die? If you did just text "dead" to me, so that I know.
then they high fived as they party boyed me. I was a policewoman sandwhich. I love you halloween.
Well at one point you put icyhot on your feet because you lost your shoes and it was snowing outside.
just masturbated through my pocket at the library. hope you're enjoying your saturday night out.
I knew she was going to get knocked up just by looking at her facebook pics
Just saw out breathalyzer tubes from last night on the side of the road. Glad the cop let us know that they are biodegradable
did i try to light ur hair on fire with a sparkler at the club saturday?
Well she just peed in a pot and is now trying to boil it
traded hat for shot of whiskey. lovah yo life. only ADVENTURE NOW. OH GOD IT WENT TO CAPS LOCK
He's like Medusa, you can't look directly into his eyes or you'll turn into a slut.
My only objective is to get drunk enough to forget the last 364 days.
laying on floor next to bathroom with vent on to give myself comfort and remind me that im not going deaf. what did i smoke?
He started tongueing his parfait and told "thats what I'd to your ass" in the middle of Starbucks. Of course i brought him home
I haven't showered. And am sitting in the office smelling like a beer can someone's been using as an ash tray.
So after the absinthe shots_____(fill in the blank area for me please)......
Randomize