she was pooping while we were on video chat. new level of love.
Just checked my recent transactions online. Between the hours of 1 and 3am on September 30th, I went to 7/11 4 times. Unacceptable.
Blacked out at the beach and unblacked out at a piano bar singing Tiny Dancer.
my liver gets a handicap on account of the whole being diseased thing
Everytime Our professor said "penis fencing" in class today we took shots.
2 reasons we need to wear those onesies to the bar more ofter 1) comfy as shit 2) we both still got laid\n\nHow can you resist that kinda night?
Spotted: shirtless guy wearing cut-off hot shorts, 1 cowboy boot and a sombrero puking in a bush while his friend yelled 'stop being a bitch" from the sidewalk'. Happy 4th of July 'merica!
Def over. He sent me a nude selfie but cropped it right above his junk. Total Silence of the Fucking lambs looking.
Sean slept in the bushes beside my house again. Any reason he kept screaming/slurring 'it was all a bunch of goddamn lies' through out the night?
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
the only thing I remember was some guy took out his fake eye to use it for beer pong
how do you make "fuck me in the break room" sound casual?
Can we just talk about the fact that the last time I got laid I was wearing a Jurassic Park tshirt?
You know that gay bartender? Not as gay as we thought.....
If it's any consolation she turned out to be has a collection of clown dolls she talks to crazy. And the cops knew why I was calling when she key locked the door from inside.
Randomize
