I woke up naked in my living room and my mom was next to me like we need to talk
what do you mean I googled how to give an awesome blow job?
Halloween 2010: the NuvaRing girls. You're Thursday. We'll walk into the party chanting "Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Everydaaay".
so high i just made my own version of grilled cheese using toast and spray cheese
here comes the puke
The "puke-towel" started to grow something...
I tried giving you a bj last night and all you could manage was "Haha that tickles" and "in the morning"
You threw my heel at her from across the street... And hit her in the back of the head so hard she face planted into the street. I need more friends like you.
This is the first time I'm hearing this information.
Sometimes I'm jealous of turtles because they can just go to their homes whenever they want by putting their heads in their bodies.
How high are you?
Where the fuck do you get consience sedatives from?
Can we just cry and dive into a couch-sized bag of sadness-chips, dip them in a la-z-boy sized jar of depression salsa while watching a show called 'Forget Your Hopes and Dreams, Just Kill Yourself'?
NO HE PUT HIS HAND IN HIS PANTS BEFORE HE TOUCHED THE BONG.
ILLEGAL
Please remind me next time not to call the ex who cheated on me to cry about the ex who forgave me for putting him in prison. It would be much appreciated.
I don't know where I keep finding these guys, but mi power bottoms es su power bottoms.
Just by hearing the girl outside reciting the info on her fake ID, I know it's gonna be a good night
your mission the party friday: cockblock me at ALL costs. I've cheated on my boyfriend twice. I feel like three times would be crossing some sort of line...
and no, I don't care how how hot he is
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