ready 4 sex 2nite?
wow. woo me matt, woo me.
Im starting to think including a smiley face in texts may or may not be a code for 'lets have sex'
Im going to research this theory. . .
So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
no you're not listening to me HE WANTED TO BRAID MY HAIR
i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
We talk about tequila and blow jobs the way that normal people talk about the news and the weather.
At least in the future when we're all real people we can laugh about the time we all had scabies together?
Woke up with a raging boner...good feeling abt this trial
Safe to say I relapsed into my old chatroulette drunk flashing days.
She said she'd heard about my nickname in high school. Apparently sledgehammer isn't as popular as you'd believe...
only thing in my fruit bowl is 4 champagne corks and a jenga piece . Tuesday.
You gave your boss a bj to get the safe employee of the month award?
well a fat roach just fell out of my hair. so there's that
You threw up a gallon of vomit. I really have never seen anything like it in my decade of partying.
I love how u said nothing about the sidewalk sex but refused shower sex
Randomize
