My mom says you aren't allowed to eat doritos at my house
also, i may or may not be wearing a cape right now. hint: i am.
i turned job hunting into a drinking game..
there was some random girl that nobody really knew, standing in the corner trying to shave her armpits with a plastic butter knife.
These headphones make me feel like I'm sitting on John Mayers lap and he's singing just to me. I picture like a pitch black room with a single spotlight on us. Also, convinced Kyle to give me percocet soo.
Obviously a higher power wants us to be sunday drunk together
we were hooking up and then he goes "you can touch my penis" and i laughed too hard to do anything. no second date.
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
Who knows. I'd probably only get a makeout with an OTPHJ from her so the return on sexual investment from her isn't looking that great.
There's a bus with a band full of dancing women in bras. I think I like it here.
Sometimes the gods of alcohol choose to take you on a mysterious journey and you just have to go with it
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
The main motivators in my life are my sex drive and spite
It's obvious you're hotter. You've been doing a married guy for almost 2 years.
Did you make it home alright?
No I'm sitting under a tree by a cricket. He's alone crying out for someone to Fuck him. This guy gets me.
Randomize
