Kelly Kapowski is pregnant and it's not Zach Morris'. I no longer believe in true love.
It's sad because pictures are supposed to say a thousand words, and theirs just say 'fat'
Well, I just watched him puke into his pitcher at the bar, I doubt he cares about anything other than the fact that he needs a new beer.
peeing on that welcome mat was like, the highlight of my week
I only wish the guy being lead around by his cock at the drag show was the weirdest part of my night.
we came up with a wnba drinking game. take a shot every play that you could've done better. won't make it through 1st quartar
we've decided whoever is stupid enough to use the condom that's tacked to the wall deserves to get pregnant.
Santa was walking around downtown handing out stuff at the bars. He gave me a free eyebrow wax. I think he's trying to tell me something
What I thought was my travel sanitizer was actually my travel lube. Most awkward transit ride of all time!
I seriously had alll four of your knuckles bruised into my arm
He just stopped me mid blow job so he could text his wife asking for TacoBell.
Once someone takes a shit in your toilet they are no longer a guest.
How do I say “I have great tits” without it sounding awful
apparently i ended up downloading "thats amore", giving him head, and singing it... all at the same time
I mean...if Marco gets pregnant, it is either the spawn of Satan or the second coming of Christ (neither of which I want in my life). So let's just hope that he doesn't grow a womb and that we don't have to consider either option.
Randomize
