You drank the expired grape juice because you were convinced it had fermented into wine...you have a problem.
Since my computer broke, i've been masterbating to girls gone wild. I feel like i'm in the 90's.
Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
dude i woke up to her making a statue of my morning wood for her sculpture class. HOW THE FUCK do you think i feel about her?
My Pizza Lunchables won't fit in the fridge because of all your alcohol. One of our addictions has to give.
Woaahhhh there! We are JUST drunk fucking. Don't call me "baby".
You're just jealous because you lost me and I ended up at another party licking Marshmallow Fluff bikinis off of lesbians.
My chin is breaking out a bit and feels all itchy and burny like I'm allergic to something. Are you using a new lotion on your balls?
lets talk about you, dubstep, and a bunny suit.
exhale infront of a fan. self shotgun.
I hooked up with a blind guy last night... he's clapping in order to find his way around our apartment
I was standing in my mom's kitchen in only my neon green thong, eating pizza over the garbage can, and sobbing while he was yelling at me.
Something must have happened, they started yelling truffle butter and you said we needed to leave NOW
I might be a bit longer... I found a hot guy at the grocery store, so I'm following him and buying stuff that he's buying
Fursuit judi Dench just stared directly at me for 3 solid minutes telling me that cats arent dogs and i believe her because if i dont cat jason derulo might try to have sex with me
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