I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
i just went to use the bathroom this morning and I couldn't because there was someone puking in every stall. i'm going to miss the dorms this summer
Oh please tell me that I'm sleeping in your shower and not the neighbor's again
How do people deal with hangovers? I literally want to eat my own face.
I feel like that needs to be the last time i end a text with "fuck them i love tequila".
Do you think the neighbors will know I was the one giving out the penis shaped lollipops to the children?
her spring break bucket list included "break into The Swamp, blow him where Tebow has Tebowed"
hurry up this bar wont let me order big pitchers of beer for just myself
Worst drunk idea ever... Me "Cops are looking for two guys, one in a grey shirt one in a blue shirt" jelly "lets take out shirts off they'll never find us" of course I thought it was brilliant
My boobs are literally freaking out because I've been wearing a bra for more than three hours....I need to go out more...
It was the highest I'd ever been. I felt like a blob. A blob eating a burrito.
He was tripping his balls off and kept aggressively saying SIT ON MY FACE. 5 hours and countless orgasms later I've decided I must never let this man go.
well, unfortunately the rug burn lasted longer than the actual relationship
His sister gave me the "if you hurt him I will break your neck" talk. I didn't know how to tell her we're not a couple.
It wasn't until after we began having sex again the next morning I realized I didn't know his name.
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