Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
Today at work while talking to my co-worker we both realized at the same time that last year I had a one night stand with his roommate and he was in the living room drinking coffee when I did the walk of shame. YAY.
I just stuffed five dollars in my near empty box of camels to remind myself to buy more. And my mom says I don't budget my money
I've got 15 minutes to eat dinner and drink a 40. Four years of college has all been training for this moment.
his mom and i are swapping prescript pills..totally mother in law material.
No, i went to get it done but the guy couldnt find it. exhibit A of why i wanted a clit piercing in the first place.
thank god we only have to drink eggnog and rum once a year. It taste like shit.
Are some dicks heavier than others? Random question as I'm feeling mine.
Oh no, we smoked the revival weed. It came in a Batman bag. It hit like justice. And orphans.
im watching blue is the warmest color at the music box and this dude is literally masturbating 3 feet in front of me
Haha no we did it on his bed. Then rolled off into the bean bag. It was a strangely athletic performance on my behalf.
i mean hes a break dancing puerto rican, how do you think the sex was?
Today's forecast: 90% chance of bad decisions, good stories, solid new dick and artichoke pizza
I don't want to go to sleep. I like partying with myself.
JUST BECAUSE I ANSWER THE DOOR NAKED CARRYING A BOTTLE OF RUM DOESN'T MEAN YOU CAN STARE NEIGHBORS.
Randomize
