dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
I am the Bobby Fisher of drunk asss puking
My rats are drinking wine. I am drinking with rats. God i am so alone.
he'll be my respectable boyfriend for tksgiving and i'll be his non-slutty girlfriend for christmas.
and then ....
he stays my gay friend and my parents think i'm not a slut.
But i don't feel like talking to him right now. I woke up an hour ago to a picture of his penis and I AM NOT A MORNING PERSON.
I just keep sniffing it hoping for an explanation.
NOLA update. Went to Corey Smith at the house of blues last night. Drank PBR and took lots of shots of Jack. Too drunk, cabbed it to the hotel and fell asleep while having sex. Not my finest moment. Now I'm in court. I can't wait to be your attorney.
Just remember, Dont make worse choices than american flag pants to your own birthday party
Naw. I'm tired and I'd have to shave my legs. I doubt the sex or the company would be worth it.
i had a super strange, mommy/daddy issuestastic, mildly freudian, i-might-as-well-become-a-stripper-now-and-stop-fighting-the-inevitable dream last night :(
Well I shit myself on the way home from work today so there's that...
I remember grabbing your ass. So firm. So right. I don't regret it.
yeah I woke up in jail with two different shoes on and neither of them were mine
In another note. Thanks for making me get a vibrator. For real.
Swear to god, somebody just drove by with mickey mouse in their passenger seat and he waved at me.
Randomize
