We saw a kid playing in poison ivy. We walked away, he'll learn his lesson.
nothing like morning wood sex at 4pm. funemployment ftw
But she tried her best to break my penis, so she has a few free passes with me
This guy just tried to hit on me on facebook. His most recent listed education is middle school. This is my life.
I can't blame him for thinking that then, placing a cone shaped potato chip on the tip of his penis post bj is not a normal act of love
after you left he started opening his bottles by smashing the neck against the edge of the fireplace and pouring beer into his mouth. it was about the manliest thing ive ever seen. its probably how lumberjacks open their beers... if they didnt have their axes handy.
Did my married ex-boyfriend really tell me that he prays for me? Fucking Judas
I was on etsy and I'm like those boobs look way too familiar
I asked you for a cigarette and you handed me your phone and told me to search for one
I have the rest of my life to settle down this is totally time for friends and pizza
He fed me Girl Scout cookies while I was still tied up...what did I do right?
Omg. I can't go on a date with this man. His kids are too ugly.
I’m traumatised. Bring vodka and condoms.
It's a charity event and she's wearing a cocktail dress drinking a 40... I found my future wife
To potentially get me laid, I need you to send me your favorite memes.
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