You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
I would have done the walk of shame but I couldnt walk
There is only so much cookie dough and masturbating I can handle in one night.
I drove to my yoga class while eating a piece of bacon. Wow. I see myself in a whole new light.
Some one left their pants in the elevator.
i just remember sitting on this bed, naked, STILL WITH A CONDOM ON, and suddenly these random girls were in the room shouting at me
I just stole a cupcake from somebody's bottle service
And I got $4 when somebody made it rain.
His new job just became new places to have sex at.
They turned motor-boating me into some kind of sick game
A guy with the name Pootie Tang winked st me and a guy that doesn't speak English messaged me. These are my choices?
Fuck away man. Like 3% of these new people will be back next week. This is the best week of the year to slam bitches at the gym.
I'm attracted to him because he looks like the kind of guy who would lick my asshole without me having to ask.
I was Jaeger weird. I was rolling on the floor pretending to be an Olympic gymnast and my name was Gina
she said she just "wanted a guy who she could cook breakfast for". HUGE MISTAKE. I'm never leaving
you just rode your bike home from a one night stand in a stolen skirt with no underwear and you're telling ME to reevaluate life choices?!
Randomize