Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
Your dad touched me again.
I either just heard my neighbors having sex or she really agreed with whatever he was talking about.
Should I go home with him even though I know my Run DMC undies have skid marks on them?
I want to leave work and go home and eat Five Guys and masturbate
i think our first tip to leave should have been when we saw the drinks were coming out of a gas can
I even resorted to pole dancing with the street sign. I have an extra $20 now because I think people were paying me to leave.
You slow danced with your carpet steamer last night.
Hahaha I can already see the arrest warrants. It's gonna be beautiful. I'll get them framed.
Jenna, I'm going to use all my homosexual powers to steal him from you
Austin, I will climb on top of your shoulders and slowly suffocate you with my vagina
Is it possible to be sexually attracted to someone's hair?
I got a lap dance in honor of your birthday last night.
Thank you.
theres a video...
oh god.
are you watching the world series?
I've made out with alex bregman... so yes
Just saw the cop you hooked up with over break. He’s def hotter in uniform.
Tell him to stop shaving his pubes. #Notmyjam
That butt dial turned into a booty call.
Randomize
