If I were a hot girl. I'd whore around, I'd be awesome.
he fingered my asshole thinking it was my vag...I couldn't bring myself to tell him, mostly from shame for me and pity for him
so i just drove past a racoon and a kid on a long board... god i love 4am white castle runs
It feels like Jesse James cheated on America.
Nothing on google about my condom issue. However, if you get a chance google: condom with teeth.
Help. All alone. Room is. Changing colors. Dance party 2010, but without dancing.
I thought he wouldn't talk to me again. You know, what's that saying "why buy the cow when you can fuck it six hours after meeting"
Doing shrooms is fine until you get raped by curtains
Why didn't I see you last night!?
We made out like 4 times....I think I saw you.
Someone left me hummas on my door step between the hours of 1am-3am
I plan on blacking out and milking a cow
I met a gypsy today. She told me my soul animal was an owl and says she will now remember me as "Owl Girl".
Thank you for coming with me today. I find it appropriate that we celebrated my negative pregnancy test with slurpees and donuts.
I think everyone at the office can tell I'm dehydrated
you mean still drunk
I've heard it both ways
Sometimes I just take my boobs out of my shirt so they can get some fresh air
Randomize
