I don't think he has that. His apartment was pretty much a tv and a bed. Topless girl calendar and a glass of water to put out cigarettes.
Astroglide: It's like Bengay for your ass.
I am midnight drunk by noon
just found more coke in my pocket. i love not washing my jeans after every individual use.
Yes I hit her with my car. Yes I gave her a ride home. And yes she gave me her number. What's the problem?
Believe it or not, that's part of the whole 'best friend' thing. It's not just yelling at me for making you leave the club early or taking the couch bc I'm doing sex while you're doing bjs.
she gave me her number and i just said "no. cant."
I ended up in a bathroom giving my hymen a pep talk
Drunkness level: fluent in olde norse
wait did i hook up with someone in mcdonalds last night?
The sex definitely would have been a perk. But not sitting in a ditch was what I was going for...
I like to send nudes ok? If that's my biggest flaw I think I'm ok
Are you in a position where you can bring me some nachos?
Hey, you should go to your facebook ASAP... i'm guessing you're wasted but you just uploaded a picture of someones dick...and everyones taking bets now if its Rick or Mikes..
hey im sorry i made fun of the color of your sheets, but like it was all i could focus on during sex because they were just THAT UGLY
Randomize
