Def slept AT the bar last night, wow that's a first!
i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
adderall flavored popcorn. yes we did it and its awesome
Dude she let me cum on her face
You have the wrong number I'm the she who let you cum on her face unless some other girl has let you since this morning
Two girls I have never met just thumb wrestled to decide who gets to make out with me.
I think my sister is getting tired of me breaking into her house so I can sleep with random girls when shes not there
Breakfast-of-shame with my mother. I was in half of a sexy Mad Hatter costume. We had artisan bagels and judgement.
Im done having sex . he ruined it for me after he said " can we use my penis as a shovel ?"
IT'S A HOLY FESTIVAL. A BUDDHIST CELEBRATION OF PENIS.
it went ok. then he slept in a parking lot and took me out for a picnic the next day. boys are confusing.
ITS THE FIRST FRIDAY NIGJT AFTER MOVING IN WITH THE NEW ROOMIE AND I ACTUALLY JIST RIPPED MY TAMPON OUT AND THREW IT IN THE NEIGHBORS YARD WERE GOINF ON THE BOAT AND SLEPEING IN HIS AMBULANCE GOODNIGHT
Doing a walk of shame at Wal-Mart at 3:30am because when I left at 11pm I was getting milk
Yeah, let's go with that. Fuck that weak moment of complete honesty I just had.
I am a unicorn in a field of flowers, you asshole.
Slowly dying because of my period and my phone is mocking me because I have 69% battery
Randomize
