Party's warming up, a tranny just got here...
I'm pretty sure there is a country song about this exact situation
I feel like my nuva ring should have a vibrating switch.
he's mad because you were 'slandering his penis'.
This guy kept running around with a blender giving people shots of everclear and vodka. Best. Toga. Party. Ever.
and then she judged me for using my bra as a potholder. hard times my friend, welcome to college.
The salesman at the smoke shop just told me my hair is glorious...
Nothing wrong with a few meaningless hookups. Keeps the mind occupied and the body satisfied
I'm pretty sure the Bible says "He who is most sober may cast the first stone."
There's a dryer on fire at the laundromat, and everyone's just standing around taking pictures. Except me. I'm texting.
i like beer, sex, and cooking. what more can he want?
I need an honest answer, no judgements. Would it make me a bad person if I fucked the other twin?
How much have you had to drink?
Qhaghao Oslo?
That seems like quite a lot.
At least they took the pillow of my bed before they had sex. My friends are so polite.
Somehow, walking in on your drunk mom in a diaper was the least traumatic thing I saw last night
Randomize
