you tried to scramble eggs in my dryer last night. i want you here in 15 minutes to clean this shit up
this is never going to happen for me, I think he thinks I'm crazy
well you did scream "PLEASE! I'LL S YOUR D IN FRONT OF EVERYONE"
you made a powerpoint titled 'things i've drank tonight' and emailed it to me.
Gotta love hanging with Nat. By the time guys realize she isnt going home with them, they've spent enough money and time to think I'm a good idea.
I have tardy slips. and absent slips if you don't show up to the bar. and trust me, if you are absent there will be a saturday school. I'm teaching you how to drink tonight.
Ill trade u your bra for a run to the liquor store...
He's hinting that I'm starting to be kicked out of their blunt rides, I can feel it.
Nothing like moscato in your sinuses tobmake your night complete
I might not remember all of last night but I clearly remember the part where I humped the mailbox.
So this 40 year old woman was trying to bring me into the bathroom to blow me and the bartender called the cops on her because she was showing her tits. Only in asbury.
its just been over 12 hours, and i`m dying, don`t know how i`m supposed to survive the holidays sexless
Well watching will be involved...it'll just most likely be of me licking your penis instead of me trying to understand how Hans Solo goes up against the Galactic Empire...
I bit my tongue so hard I left a deep imprint. Fuck you tongue, stop getting in the way of food.
i just googled coccaine effects on sexual performance..maybe im dating the wrong guy
Too bad Amazon Prime wouldn't get the wine bra flask to you in time. Concealed alcohol and huge tits? Win-win.
Randomize