nothing screams I HAVE A PROBLEM! like the case of miller lite sitting on top of my DUI papers in the passenger seat of my car. lol
Considering last night's endeavors, I am going to hell 5 times over. 1 for puking on a hobo, 1 for laughing about it, and 3 for remembering it today and laughing about it sober
Nothing like studying in the College of Communication to make you realize how smart you are.
He just kept yelling woof and then threw money all over me...
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
when i grow up i'm putting garbage disposals in all showers of my house so when you vomit in the shower its easy clean up
She said I came to for a minute, shouted IHOP!! and then shook my head and said no before passing out again
I just found a casserole dish in my oven filled with broken glass, blood, and chopsticks. And the REALLY fucked up thing is that finding it answered more questions than it raised.
Everybody shut up a minute, we need to discuss how much nicer the world would be if pants weren't a thing.
It was everywhere. My dick was a sprinkler of lost future children.
Haha no we did it on his bed. Then rolled off into the bean bag. It was a strangely athletic performance on my behalf.
what better to celebrate not being pregnant than to eat a bowl full of rum soaked pineapples?
I associate the Game of Thrones theme song with his dick now.
I have standards. Maybe not when it comes to men.. but definitely when it comes to sex
Dude my cat is eating sugar cookies with me. No joke. My cat likes cookies.
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