are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
You keep asking me questions like I have this magical thing called a memory
i cleaned the weed out of my bowl, pretended it was a spoon and ate oatmeal with it. my mom cried
somehow we got the entire party to start singing "ill make a man out of you" from mulan. needless to say, that kid had the best keg stand i'd ever seen.
This is random, but did i give u a handjob in the middle of the night or was that a dream?
ive come to the point where weve hung out more times sober than drunk. i think im growing up. fuck.
Apparently I confessed my love for him last night. Also, my love for cash4gold commercials.
Taking my infected piercing out in the parking lot of the food card place. This is one of those life defining moments that makes me sad.
She could makes a perfectt roast dinner drunk but she nearly sets the kitchen alight microwaving popcorn.
what i'd really like is a nice helping of naked boyfriend with a side of naked boyfriend.
Also...I'm semi-dating the drug dealer that took me to bible study
my confident boosted when he told me that it was I who started making out with him. ME. NOT HIM.
I AM SHOCKED AND PROUD OF MYSELF
It wasn't exactly a dick pic. It was more like a body shot with a hint of wiener.
I also don't hate being called a giant sack of cheese. Is that weird?
Replacing my paralegal is easy. Replacing my favorite office fuck toy is a totally different story. Damn him for wanting to better himself instead of being my manwhore
Randomize
