laying in bed listening to christian music, jealous of the hope they have for their life. also need to beat off, can i think about you?
shes trying to light up her bowl in front of the fan. everytime it blows it out she just gives it a dirty look.
I woke up with spaghetti in my mouth
I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
she was passed out on the moving sidewalks in the airport, we NEED to travel more often
Did you get an erection too during Paul Ryan's speech?
If we don't rescue him from the fat chick soon, she is going to eat him alive and suck the marrow from his bones.
Piñatas plus fireworks don't mix well
I am not getting you a goat.
Fair enough. I am not going out with you. The goat was not negotiable.
I woke up hugging a box of cheerios that had "wonder woman" written in sharpie on it. So much for a sober night.
I swear, when I turn 21 in four months, I'm going to carry a flask around with me, and make a drinking game out of everything.
Can you have a quarter life crisis another time? I'm trying to masterbate.
ABOUT TO MAKE THE BIGGEST MISTAKE OF MY LIFE, SEND HELP
Have fun and good luck.
The last thing I remember is being given a cup full of absinthe and deciding I needed to wear my tool belt
You were returned to the hotel by someone wearing a priest costume and carrying knives.
i just want to cuddle, make out and maybe have a boob grabbed but no. someone has to have mono.
Randomize
