just did a line in a complete hula outfit off a chick in a devil costume. do you think hell will be this good?
So we fuck and I say, "I'm about to go." He tells me, "No, leave at ten.. just lay here for a little while." When I ask, "Why?!" He gets his feelings hurt and says, "ugh. or don't." Since when did guys start acting like girls?
They asked me to help them shop for lingerie.
Tell them everything looks awful, makes their ass look fat, etc. You'll wreck their self esteem and likely both have sex with you to make themselves feel better.
You're the most understanding sister I could ever ask for.
You should get a handy in the street again, just to prove you've still got it.
Pretty sure he sprained my tongue. This is why you don't hook up with gingers.
Synchronized big wheels back flips off the second floor roof. Good idea or great idea?
After seeing how much you are able to funnel in a night, I am 90% sure your blood is pure gin.
I was high and he had on a gorilla suit. Of course I had to take a picture with him
Your a disgrace to smokers everywhere
If my neighbors have super loud sex again tonight, I'm going to leave a ball-gag and roll of duct tape in their mail slot.
Pretty sure my boner drove me home. Like it didn't just do the steering it was the gas and brake too..
I feel like I beer bonged a ton of asbestos
Well, we all woke up in drag with no memory of why we were in drag. On the plus side, this shade of lipstick looks really good on me.
We had sex on his sofa while his friend cheered and threw bugles at us
Well he waved at me as he was leaving so he def noticed the staring, and by staring i mean blatant eye fucking from across the bar..
He cut off part of his middle finger playing the knife game while singing The Knife Game Song at the top of his lungs. He also scream like a girl when his finger hit the floor and he realized he fucked up.
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