I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
while fucking on the counter the whip cream was conveniently right next to us. i love thanksgiving
I took my vicodin with tequila. I can FEEL gravity...
RIP Summer 2010. God knows it had to be one of us..
she just walked in and said "well, I got peed on again"...
just found a carrot inside of a baby sock. living with toddlers is like living with tiny hammered people.
The sex was so good I went temporarily numb. Slightly embarrassing when she pointed out I was kissing my own arm.
We were messing around at his place it was going fine until he said, "I'm going to cum, hand me the shot glass"
You were stoned out of your mind. We were eating cold cuts and you wouldn't shut up about how it was the wettest meat you'd ever felt in your life.
I got another blow job proposal last night. Skills.
True. So did you hook up with pasta or the ultimate warrior
Little bit of both
The last two times I had sex with him I forgot who it was half way through
I'm really tired of this guy walking his chicken in my neighborhood.
Consider yourself lucky. If I ever run into my ex, all I'll be able to think is, "I let you pee on me and lead me around on a leash."
...Just hit my fuck buddy with my car.
Randomize
