he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
I like to think that tonight was Jesus punishing James Cameron for his role in popularizing "My Heart Will Go On."
there is no way i'm buying plan b and condoms at the same time
no do it! it shows that you acknowledge your mistakes and you are proactively working towards a solution.
Well let's just say that she ended up trying to get it in with the wheelchair guy, who btw, can get an erection and quickly I might add
Sometime between a drunk guy asking me if I'm a Beach person or a lake person WHILE HIS HAND WAS IN HIS FUCKING PANTS or breaking up a lady fight over peewee football league I started to reevaluate my life and self
we've had our differences but let's set them aside, go home and fuck
The same guy who pierced my nipples just told me he can help tutor me in precalc.
Stop thinking your God dude. You passed out. God doesn't pass out...
I felt like a personal hot pocket and all I could taste was cigarettes.
I snapchatted him 4 pictures of me as Tarzan's dad so if he never talks to me again at least we'll know why
His dog was laying on the bed and he said we could have sex as long as we didn't disturb his dog. My life is pathetic
I've decided to become a librarian so I can drunkenly quote The Mummy and have it be legit.
Dude. Got a sore throat. Don't know if it's because my body is rejecting Michigan or cause of the bad ass blow job I gave last night
Wtf. So apparently this 5 star establishment doesn't allow strip putt putt in the parking lot. We all just got kicked out of our rooms.
He asked if I could not say his name during sex cause he liked the girl in the apartment above me.
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