You can tell alot about a person by their poo.. For example, he was a smoker.
Just got roadhead while going 95. I came for a mile and a half.
Exactly how many bongs can i have before my parents figure out they really aren't vases
On the bright side I got 500 American Express points paying for the abortion
she's lying on the floor with a bottle of vodka, belting shakira. plz advise.
Also, at 1:30 I emailed myself saying, "are you there Margaret? It's me, god"
TGIFridays...stall number 1...drunk...send help
What if he turns back to me, finds me seemingly fondling my breasts, and thinks I'm turned on by eagles?
Help everyone's hot
Men are hot women are hot non-binary people are hot aliens are hot
How do I go about this? "Hey, its my birthday in 40 minutes. Would you like to come over for some sex? Also, please bring snacks"?
holy shit the woman im hooking up with is closer to my moms age than my own
I'm not saying you're stupid, just that you have bad luck when thinking...
i guess "never drinking again" is not an option when you invent a whole new level of drunk...
Yep, you're going to hell.
I take on this great possibility with a beer in one hand and the girl I'm gonna fuck later in the other
I totally fucked your pastor last night.
You're his wife.
Still a dirty get down.
Randomize
