I cannot find my penis.
I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
My spanish teacher discovered you can watch spanish music videos on youtube. Guess what were doing in class today? Michael Scott Spanish 101
Scott woke me up by cracking a beer open in my face. Best friends are awesome.
But I always wanted my obit to read "Died violently in casino orgy," not "Never woke up from rectal surgery."
I'm literally partying with O.J. Simpson's son right now. I don't know what to make of this.
We don't have a ruler. Come downstairs and lay in the snow with a boner so we can see how much snow we've gotten. Put your 8 inches to a less shameful use.
apparently there was a flour fight and couch sex...
The really sad thing is that I actually practiced crawling in my room yesterday in preparation for today
I didn't know what to do with her so I just tied her to a bench.
using the campers leftover pizza money at the bar. Definition of great counselors right here.
Well, I found the missing blow... in my fucking suitcase... THIS MORNING. Yeah, I flew from FL to NY with blow in my suitcase yesterday.
I told you to check, dude
Yeah, AFTER I checked my bag and I was already sitting on a plane. Oh well. I figured worst case I'd do like 15 hours in county and I was totally prepared for that anyways. I always prepare for that when we hang out.
I can't relate, I like my boobs roaming free like a wild animal, and I occasionally let them devour small children
Opened the apartment door and the smell of sex and weed literally slapped me across the face. Kudos.
I had her buy me a cock ring, so we might test that out. We are presently playing yahtzee.
Cock rings and yahtzee. Like peanut butter and jelly.
Randomize
