Wait. When you mean sick you mean a cold sick right ? not something else.
Another night of drunkeness. Maybe I shouldn't have played death pong...
Didn't you just get a DUI last week?
Indeed I did but death didn't stop Jesus now did it
I considered driving home in his mom's bathrobe until i realized i'd have to stop to buy cigarettes
just saw the guy i hooked up with last nights' face on a billboard. win.
Well regardless of where or with who you will be blacking out and i will be pouring shots down ur throat like a baby bird
The moral of the story is do not hire me because everything will end up smelling like pickles and I will not sufficiently clean it up.
Now that there's no chance of him coming over to fuck anymore, I'm going to put up a one-person tent in my bedroom and live in it. My bed reminds me of him.
Seriously, I'm making a calendar and marking off the days with little penis's
bro your seconds weren't very sloppy last night, is everything ok?
She told me her last name, which as you know is my #1 turn-off.
Why is there puke in my guitar?
Because you puked in your guitar.
I didn't know. I guess I really haven't had that much time for drinking lately. I mean, outside drinking at home/work.
He showed up in a Prius. I didn’t even wanna.... So I left.
we should get together and get drunk.
On a Monday?
don't discriminate against mondays.
Last time he showed up for Christmas he went on and on about backpacking somewhere and getting ghonnorreah twice.
Randomize
