would you kill someone to have someone deliver pancakes to you when you were high?
batman tramp stamp. Dibs.
It was fun until I shot a pea out of my nose while throwing up. Left over tuna casarole at 3Am was a terrible choice.
I just realized his fb pic was taken in a public bathroom.
It looks like sephora exploded on his dick, so i assumed I was the second girl that gave him head that night.
it's gotten to the point where there are no existing good choices. even our good choices are bad choice by anyone's standards but ours.
I'm doing somethin that's never been done before...the 10 am booty call come over
Faces of meth called, they want their look back.
For the sake of my mom, I can't sleep with two guys with the same name. She has a hard enough time keeping up as it is
I'm sitting on the floor singing Bruno mars while they cook and occasionally pet me
Hey guys so who is Justin McGoo and why did I text him "fuck yooooouuu juuuustiiin mcgooo" at 12:06am on Thursday night?
Bruh why you gotta judge
You're awake at 3:30 in the morning RSVPing to a musical, I'm well within my means
immediately after sex he started talking to me about nerdy stuff he meant to text me earlier, I'm completely smitten
the next morning his mother came in to tell me that she made breakfast. she told me to put my clothes on too. awkward.
I got subtly pornographic with a lollipop while we were talking and he got flustered and started to blush. If he’s not interested after that I need to turn in my vagina card.
Randomize
