these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?
I just shaved my legs while pooping. classy or trashy?
talent.
so i am drinking whiskey and watching home alone 2 by myself. it turns out moving to a foreign country isn't all that different after all.
Oh no it's bring yor chld to work day...I'm too drunk for this
ive come to the point where weve hung out more times sober than drunk. i think im growing up. fuck.
I want an alcoholic time machine so we could skip to new years eve
i was just offered a 40 day sex challenge. prepare for the best 40 days of your life.
oh. my. god. yes.
Her vagina smelt so bad I lied and told her that I was married just so that she would leave.
I am nonfunctional stoned. I had to ask ben to put me somewhere away from all the people I'm sitting on someones bed watching a wall. Not alright. Should not have come.
I'm taking a dab in mourning of how long its been since I smoked with you guys.
i'm not sure what happened last night.. i do remember the police calling me to find out where i was because apparently at some point i went missing? don't worry though. they found me
Like how hard is it to come up to me with chocolate and wine and say "hey, you're beautiful. Wanna marathon Doctor Who in sweatpants?" Hell yes!
he threw an umbrella that he ripped out of the table at the fence like he was harpooning a whale while the owner of the bar was outside then tried to blame it on an old man...
This morning, I found 5 naked people in Steve's bed with post sex hair, and Steve fully clothed sleeping on the ground.
It's a race to see if I finish the bottle first or my homework
Randomize
