she farted while i was going down on her. not doing that again
we couldnt find her phone in the morning so i called it and found it under the bed. my name came up as 'regret'
Woke up to a denim duvet cover this morning... why r guys so tacky?
I'll never ask another girl to get on top again, that girl from the bar last night got on top and shit diareah all over my ball sack while she was cumming.
I just realized I used lady gaga lyrics in my research paper on marie antoinette
I told her that I thought she needed an oral mammogram. With me being pre-med she bought it.
I vote intervention dinner around 6, make up movie around 7:30ish, then apology drinks all night. Then hangover waffle house in the morning.
I am at the point where deciding not to drink alone is worth a rocky music montage in and of itself.
It's take your daughter to work day... I really shouldn't be here right now
Woke up the next morning in an 8 year old's bedroom. Saw my bra swinging from the spiderman ceiling fan and decided it would be best to dip out w/o it.
If I have to masturbate more than twice a week you fail as a fuck buddy. Just so you know...................you failed
Okay I shall begin. Thank you Swedish chef
Hurrfy smmurdshy burrfst!
That is the exact response I was looking for.
Today I learned that when you lick a mans butthole, you get wined and dined at a nice french restaurant.
there is a smiley face on my leg painted in blood
I'm pretty sure that's yours.
We've been taking shots, cranking Marilyn Manson, and eating your bacon. Your kid is probably ruined.
Randomize
