He's been sleeping iwht ***
Nooo
Yeah I don't even know how, she looks like her mom smoked crack while she was in the womb
And then hit her in the face with a shovel
ok shes still asleep, should i pee on her and say she did it herself? and by the time you respond to this ill probably have already made the decision
NEWSFLASH - my freind is drunk and admitted that he hates having sex with dogs. should i help him or let him be??
He also left me a wonderful voice mail..... and is now asking me where the planters peanut guy is.
You should probably go find him.
I was thinking Sara Jessica Parker was hot. That high.
Guy in our group took down a chick in a wheelchair last night.
Does anyone know who that girl who fell backwards and broke the shoe rack with her head was?
I wish I had a "puke in your car" emoticon
Just walked into your room to get my clothes and he's still passed out in your bed. Remind me to high five you when you get home
I'm ready to sell my soul to the strip club tonight
Basically taped my dick down because it's too obvious in this costume...
All I've done today is make sangria and wonder what the hell I'm doing with my life.
He was so high he started playing Twister on the striped rug. Then when we missed midnight he went on a screaming rampage about his New Year's Eve being meaningless. How do you think it went?
so an orgy is about to happen in the next room if you wondered where i am currently at in life
Waxing your own asshole is awkward and difficult at best.
I have photo proof.
Girl, don't care. What's my rule? If I don't remember it, it never happened.
Randomize
