i have one hour to talk myself into enjoying giving him a blow job when i get home
wow, so sex, not that great its like masturbating with a warm towelette, like the kind you get at a japanese restaurant
My student's should feel privledged to see me tuesday after the amount of alcohol I consumed this weekend.
At least I cut out the pieces of your hair where I braided gum into it last night. Thank me later.
But don't worry I didn't actually get stitches, although according to the health center I probably should have
Just drove past the dude that came in your sock
Mike found the condom wrapper on the washing machine and looked at me and said "Magnum? NICE girl. Get that nut!" then proceeded to puke in a cup
Never let a one night stand shower at your place. My razor, lotion, and brush disappeared. #girlcode
He went snooping and now he's all intimidated by my super amazing box of sexy time toys.
Please stop calling it that.
I did it on acid. I can cook bacon on any condition
we were making out in my truck and while she was straddling me she informs me that she jerks off horses for a living. Should I be concerned or flattered?
After a while I was so wet that I started crying. HE MADE ME SO HORNY I WEPT.
You seriously don't remember crying about how much you miss your mom right before we hooked up?
I feel like that xmas present negates everything we were taught as little girls. Putting out DOES pay. God bless us everyone
I'm drunk and in a paddle boat and my friend won't quit yelling about pandas. Does this ever happen to you?
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