....ANDDD I just became confused during sexting and sent my mother a text describing a "porno-worthy cum shot."
I hope im prettier
yea, just so you know this whole self-loathing thing is getting pretty fucking annoying
sometimes i wish i could find another girl that loves my dick as much as she does
i feel like she has dreams of it being like a person saying hey lets go play
I fucked my boyfriend 15 minutes before my pap test. My gyno probably thinks I hate her.
Tostitos Scoops as shot glasses. Eat for chaser.
Just now remembered singing Trashy Women at the reception. Not karaoke, just sang along with the mic I stole from the DJ. All while still in my dress drinking champagne from the bottle
No she had like 2 shots and started ironing her clothes and whispering random shit in my ear
just had to sit in the middle of an aisle in stop and shop because we're too hungover and needed to take a break.
I think for all the guys in my phone, I'm going to change their pictures to pics of their dicks. It's easier to identify them that way.
despite the cops showing up at 8am, pre gaming groundhog day was my idea yet. and by pre gaming, i of course mean getting black out drunk by 7:30am
As a matter of fact, I am on the treadmill with the Bottle of UV Blue as we speak.....
I guess I'm just gonna have to learn to live with the fact that I'm the guy who takes his pants off at the party and tries to start an orgy
they saw the dick pic he sent and started calling him 'subway'
You shouted “im bobby labonte!” In the process of shoutgunning a beer. He said you were too redneck for him...
I literally blew him under my face mask. Not because I thought it'd protect me from COVID, but because I wanted to prove to myself that I could.
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