The good news is the house is clean, the bad news is someone redecorated the bonus room by spray painting "free willy" on the wall in honor of the girl who passed out in there last night.
apparently putting your t-shirt on your head with a bottle of captain and telling girls your the pirate king of tallahassee doesn't work
Serious question: Should I volunteer to get tazered? My instincts say no but my wild side says yes.
Yes ma'am.Im also looking at my collection of penis pictures in my email playing "who;s penis is that"?
SKIIIIIIIIIIII, trip mo foes! Let-ith the epic- ness begin ith. Heroes go forth, nAy Sayers fuckin die. This is for the good of mankind! See you on the morrow
Apologies to the number who did not expect to get this but certainly be jealous of us.
Whiskey and tits go great with anything. Especially fire.
We inadvertently arrived at the strip club on Bear Night. The dancers all look like young Santa Claus and there's a buffet....
I think he's trying to finish jacking off before throwing up again
I hate men. But I love dick. You see my problem?
I had sex with a boy who lives in a closet, that's like having sex with Harry Potter, right?
He lured me round with the prospect of sex and then made me proofread his CV and spoon. I fucking hate this guy.
I have two choices: tits or tacos. I just can't decide.
oh he pulled my dick out. wanna come over after he leaves
GET OFF YOUR PHONE
You microwaved all of my silverware, I don't care if you spent all your money on tequila, you're paying for this.
I’d say they were worth it. He screamed “your tits are fanfuckingtastic!”while he was cumming
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