After he finished I threw up my arms and shouted STEVE HOLT!
we should start having sex in the shower. less clean up.
How do you tell someone they are only invited if they put out?
Mental note: adding peach schnapps to a gin and tonic does not "water it down."
i must of done something right to please the booty call gods. . . maybe fucking that fat chick?
He sent me $300 worth of sex toys. My clitoris went into hiding after two days.
I came so hard just now that I think I may have regenerated.
Why am I always the sober one?
Cause you're the only one with any sort of self control. It's kinda your super power...
But I'll just tell people it was a bar fight... Sounds a lot better than "well I was drunk and alone and eating Special K naked in my bed"
It's no longer hooking up, we have definitely graduated to Sport Fucking....
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
Im not sure if the cops that just came are strippers or actually cops
My uncle showed up to pick us up at the bar just as I bought a drink so I put it in my pocket #drunksmart
its so awesome dude, its like im a magical unicorn or something
We had sex then laid in his bed eating chocolate and drinking juice boxes. I think I'm going to keep him around.
Randomize
