she has a picture of her daughter riding a giant rooster.. of course i want to make obscene cock jokes
EMERGENCY: IS A KAREOKE RICKROLL ACCEPTABLE IN THE YEAR 2011?
his dad came out and found me sleeping indian style on the couch with my cup balancing on my boobs. didn't spill a drop.
Don't pretend like we're functional. We're gonna discuss this drunkenly via text the way serious conversations should take place.
Hey, you gotta think, is this REALLY the penis you wanna see for the rest of your life? THINK!
I was just hoping for a dick worthy of his established age.
Hey, ok if I kidnap you? I wanna test a theory.
Nope my penis exudes pure oxygen in times of crisis.
I just can't even fathom the crazy and I work at a mental hospital.
I saw him and didn't have sex with him. Responsibility five!
I woke up in a chipotle parking lot with an industrial sized box of condoms and a bag of dounut holes. I need Jesus
I took multi-tasking to a new level. I just ate a plate of nachos off my lap while driving to the bar. And I barely got any on me.
you know what? fuck you, fuck your nana, and ESPECIALLY FUCK THE BLACKHAWKS.
yep, just sat in the backseat of my car for about five minutes looking for the vodka soaked underwear,when i came to the realization that i really gotta start getting my shit together..
Don't come up here. Strippers r crying.
Randomize
