We're too lazy too send a pic of out balls. Just assume this is a pic of our balls and respond accordingly.
I should've been more social I guess. I feel bad not meeting the people who willingly sucked alcohol out of my navel...
You know you're hung-over when you're smoking and have the strong urge to eat the cigarette. No more buckets of gin. No. More. Ever.
A lumberjack bearing the gift of small oranges or gymnast sex... I love you man but you lose that battle 9 out of 10
He sent a video of him jacking off....class will be awkward tomorrow
He doesn't deserve you. Your ass looks 8 times better than his face ever will. Wanna order pizza and watch porn?
Like, I can't stand that bitch, but i genuinely hope she gets the help she needs
My sobriety has gotten out of control. I think I need an intervention.
I accidentally left my shirt at my booty calls house. He washed it & hung it up for me in his closet. I can't decide if that's sweet or creepy
Talk about having your cake and eating it he has basically demolished the whole fucking bakery
Was i rolling around in a parking lot last night
I just got a text from a guy. The python is ours if we want.
I can't tell if my roommate is crying or having sex and the fact that there's anime in the background is only making this more confusing
I'm slacking. We've been hooking up for months and I have yet to bang him while he's wearing the clown mask.
Good new is, my parents are alive. Better news they will be in the hospital all weekend. Best news is im having a house party. All weekend.
Randomize