can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
she was a 2....and a legitimate 2. like, helen keller is a 1, this girl...2.
The walk of shame is far, far worse on crutches.
Friend I haven't seen in almost a year just IMed me to let me know that my mom stuck her boob out the window on the freeway at her.
Her mom responded by mooning my mother. I really don't know what's worse.
My mom is such a hoarder. I found a deer candelabrum last night, it had antlers has candle holders. It was like a redneck menorah.
i am YELPING strip clubs. This is interesting.
Funny. I made out with his brother for the first time in a bathroom too.
Things we need. Powerade. Water in fridge. Mixers for vodka. And reality checks.
hotel security told us you walked into the hotel with blood all over your dress, weren't wearing any underwear and were escorted back by three men who were believed to be "homosexuals".
after last halloween when i met that 26yr old guy from russia who was hot until we madeout and he became obsessed with touching my forehead after the ecstasy he did and then tried to sell me pills from an m&m mini container, i think im staying away from parties downtown
Do you think the neighbors will know I was the one giving out the penis shaped lollipops to the children?
The narcoleptic neighbor conked out while taking her dog out again. Drinking game based on what the dog does and how long she's out. You in?
its 3am and I'm taking a bubble bath, this is what taking a day off work at 30 looks like
Hey, Would it be ok if me and your wife have a ladies only night and masturbated on FaceTime together?
Also Fuck you Stephen King and Fuck the horse you rode in on, making me cry In front of my coworkers.
Randomize
