were having a shit on karen session at work but then she walked in so we used code names instead and she tried to join in like she knew them
He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
Is it a bad thing that the only time i wear nice clothes to class, is when i get too fucked up the night before and wear the same clothes i went out in?
so she sprained her ankle somehow and her friend had to carry her out while all 7 of us watched. do we even need to vote on that or is that automatic induction into the hall of shame?
he nicknamed his dick "too big to fail"
Sonogram pictures belong on a fucking fridge...NOT FACEBOOK!!
Dude i'm seriously thinking about his nipples.
So I woke up in a strange bed with a note taped to my arm giving me directions back to my brothers apartment.
The fool I made of myself at the Ugly Christmas Sweater party last night was surpassed this morning when I walk of shamed 6 miles at 7am with one mysterious wet leg and no pants on. I think my mom saw me and waved.
Pizza delivery...for when you need to eat your feelings for the sex you aren't having
I don't think the best pickup line was. Hey I have never made a girl orgasm before but I'm sure it will work on someone like you.
My cat just smacked my blunt from my hand and then put her head in my hand. I don't know how to feel
I'm literally in the bathroom for two minutes and I walk out to a random dude with his face in your tits
Still drunk. lying on the floor just rubbing my cats nipples
I'm sorry you had to knock him out on your birthday. But that also means I won the bet that you'd hit someone so you owe me 40. dollars
Randomize
