woke up this morning with "hah" written on my penis.i was like wtf?? morning wood kicked in and found out what it really said, haNNah.then i remembered.
My new years resolution is to be alive new years morning
just because she blew him doesn't mean she knows his name.
If I am going to throw out this whole "born again virgin" thing...i'm not going to do it on someone who is less than 5 inches.
Fuck at this point id do just about anything for 20 bucks
That has been your downfall in past encounters with 20 dollars bills
Promise me you won't have sex in my room
I can't promise you that, but I promise you that I'll try
Might want to in your tub tho. That thing is fucking huge.
He's just sitting there staring at my sisters teddy bear hoping it will come to life.
He purred while eating me out. HE PURRED AND I LIKED IT.
By the end of the first quarter he was so hammered he was pouring beer into the crockpot with the miniature hot dogs and BBQ sauce saying he loved the supper bowl and he loves taking mini weinies to the face
NO HOOKUPS IN THE CAR. I will try as i might to practice what i preach, but there are no guarantees.
Dad's teaching me to make moonshine this weekend as "college prep". How scared should I be sis?
Also, for real, though? Did we even have sex or were we just jumping on the bed drunk and naked...because with me that's actually a possibility.
Fyi - we're going to be eating those sandwiches in bed when you get home.
You thought the flashing lights were strobe lights when they were loading you into the ambulance. You asked the EMT if he had any X.
How did the test come back?
I've never been so happy to have a yeast infection. And i got a free pack of birth control
Randomize
