Jerry, you need to find god
Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
Afterwards she curled up in my dog's bed and slept there all night
How mad was your dog?
Why I am the classiest girl you know: just mixed drinks for everyone on the baby changing station at the movie theater.
just got drunk at a party with Christmas themed solo cups.. holidays are officially here.
I hope my margaritas pass through security.
I definitely didn't wake up this morning thinking "i wanna get gang banged today"
We shoved chex mix between her tits for her own survival.
Emergency need house key where r u I just got shit o n
Well, I now know how many glasses of wine it takes for me to fuck my neighbor.
Thanks for taking care of me. I hope I didn't pee in your car.
Take off your clothes and see if he wants to have sex, that's a good way to find out
He took my necklace off while we were 69ing. His tongue never stopped moving either. Take that, guys who can't figure out how bras work.
I feel like I'm in a astronaut outfit like I'm a spaceman & I'm just floating around cause that's all you do in space is float and I'm floating to be in detail
Houston we have a problem
I just made out with his twin, technically it's the same person..... Right?
Randomize