the ***** family is living proof that there are no more lifeguards in the humen gene pool
Is it weird that I found myself thinking of that blue chick from Avatar while she gave me head after the movie?
Haha I wonder if my burp offended him. So I gave him a fist pump to signify how friendly I am
someone put bongwater in my humidifier again THIS NEEDS TO STOP
Well, think of it this way, if this were 200 years ago your father would have received the most goats in all the village for your fertile loins. Think about that.
youre just mad i got the high score on the breathalyzer
Keep in mind that he's 43, unemployed and living with his parents. There's really not much we could do to make his life worse.
Little boy scout stared at me with judgmental looks while I bought 3 bottles of liquor but refused to buy popcorn from him
Is it bad of me to apply as a night shift counselor at a boys orphanage purely because of how laid that would get me at bars?
I folded my dollar bills into mustaches in preparation for our trip to the strip club
Hypothetically speaking, when I get a sugar glider would it be frowned upon to bring it Ito classes with me in m pocket?
I may or may not be setting up an encounter with a foot fetishist just because I'm curious.
Ehh, the third backed out. Two still isn't bad. Who gets a bootycall to pick them up from a bootycall's house anyways? Only me.
It started off with wine and ended up with me in only my pearls and heels. It was about the classiest sexual experience I've ever had.
Not going to make it tonight. Some cougar at the bar just told me she has dibs on my dick.
Randomize
