Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
it was like fucking with batman, he had gadgets i never even imagined
he ate out my asshole, i really don't think he gets embarrassed easily.
He violated my cat. I was not impressed.
An accidental pregnancy to a guy with a trustfund is no mistake. It is a gift from god.
We found you passed out clutching your purse. There was 16oz of unopened cheddar cheese inside. You just kept saying SALSA YES.
the parade is in 5 days. put your big boy pants on and come to beer training. time to build your tolerance. i can't have you passing out in a bush with a cape on again this year.
Mate, you pissed in my bed. Then told me to "Just keep swimming"
I didnt finish. My brain kept playing the duck tales theme thru the entire blow job
I'm at the nutcracker high as shit. It's so beautiful. I cried.
HOCKEY BUTTS AND BASEBALL BUTTS HONESTLY DO SOMETHING TO ME
Finding out you're not a mother on Mother's Day >>>
Note to self: never fuck a Canadian, surprisingly highly disappointing
apparently I kept repeating I have a to do list this summer and he's on it
Liz Cheney wasn’t exactly on my list of women I expected to be saying “YAS QUEEN” for in 2021 but here we are
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