you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
It's an Italian thing I guess, grew up on that shit.
I'm Irish, we don't eat cow guts unless they're blended into a fine whiskey
I cut my penus on the lid.
It's alarming how good I'm getting at being productive at work on Thursday after Johnny Walker Wednesdays.
What's bad is when she said "what hobo did you steal this dick from?"
i just woke up reverse cowgirl on my couch. fully clothed. my laptop is on the floor sideways. blasting gay porn and lady gaga. pizza crust everywhere. goodmorning.
Well if he truly loves me he will just have to accept my flaws. And that includes a tequila dependency and borderline lesbianism.
Knowing that he goes to voodoo every Thursday really makes me want to get myself checked.
And our DD is passed out in the bathtub with the curtain closed. What happened tonight
You were fucked up like a footballbat trying to eat gum off your shoe. And that wasn't even the nights lowest point.
I think I'd be more bothered by his cross dressing if I wasn't secretly into women..,
Is it bad that I'm a 32 year old woman that is so afraid of commitment that a hamster is too much responsibility?
I'M TOO HORNY FOR GRAMMAR!!!
I have to start drinking water I have a drug test to fail at 1:40
outside on the street drinkin, walked into a random house and asked to pee, some kid hands me a beer and says i have to chug it first
Randomize
