if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
hot twin vs twin who's good in bed. why do my life choices same way unfair
i was super drunk. to the point where i was putting shredded cheese on a fork, putting hot sauce on it then dipping it in salsa. it was awesome.
Just think, this time last Cinco de Mayo you were holding me up and finding me passed out in the yard of that house.
I woke up in the closet and then I found my shirt in a bag of Doritos... how does that work out?
That's your penis' name. I've always referred to it as Alejandro secretly.
Thank God I didn't lose my virginity to that asshole. That woulda been like winnin a raffle ticket for a free bag of dog shit. But with like a really pretty bag. A pretty bag full of dog shit.
I made out with a guy because he was sitting on my coat...
I set up her keyboard so that no matter what she does, it will open up RedTube. Click and command Q all you like, its going to porn. No I play the waiting game
Super awkward when the coworker you made out with in exchange for molly last weekend keeps coming over to your cube and trying to talk to you
You ran through a field yelling "I'm frolicking! I'm frolicking!" Then fell on your face. How is your nose today, doll?
he never texted me back from last night. i think brining out the suction cup dildo was a mistake
You left me with 12 red bulls and a bottle of vodka. What did you expect?
My life just got so pathetic that I volunteered to work a double on my day off because its saturday and I have nothing else planned
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