His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
"tonights gonna be a goodnight" was blasting at the club while i was screaming "NO ITS NOT" and crying. How do you think it went?
The last thing i remember is saying breakfast beer and carrying the keg to my room and locking the door.
I know now the amount of smoke it takes to set off the fire alarm....no longer worried about using the bong...not even close
This santa hat i wore to the bar, served it's dual purpose as a vomit bag.
The stripper just invited me to take shots with him out at his car after he gets off stage.. I mean why not? I've already seen everything he's got and it'll be easy to get him naked.
He just remixed a spongebob song with 2 chainz..... Clearly I love him
In this town being related to a brewing family or the owner of a sports team is like being royalty. It's like hooking up with the queen's nephew or something.
He put those pics of him with those girls on facebook and tagged his wife in them
Tequila 1 marriage 0
COKE WAS NOT ON THE ITINERARY FOR TONIGHT.
ive started thanking my toys after masturbating. might be time to get some fuck boys
No one wants to start their day off with bloody lemons and a tampon in the toilet. Wtf.
you gave me money for the cab and then walked home..
Dude, the worst part is I can't even pretend it didn't happen because she posted a video of it on Facebook.
It was like a single vaginal boat in a sea of one eyed monsters
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