So drunk its hurt
I like how my family gatherings are basically an ugly sweater party just with better beer and wine...
Hey. I found $5 in quarters from one of those state quarter collection books. I'm using it for food tomorrow.
Checked out the free sonogram van on campus and got a free DVD of my sweet food baby.
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
Wow thanks 4 throwing jello at me an yelling who invited that guy to all the guys at the bar
so apparently going to a christian rock concert dressed as Jesus is horribly inappropriate.
Who am I sleeping next to in your bed? Where are you? Also when are you coming home... I need coffee.
Wearing rip off pants to a booty call last night was one of my most brilliant ideas ever.
Well at least I still have a burrito in my pocket.
I met his parents. We played twister. My boob popped out.
For a second I thought I had fallen asleep on the floor and freaked out. Then I thought somehow I was on drugs. This is my life.
God is tempting me with everything tonight. Brownies and dick, mostly.
I wonder whether Megan will forgive me if i have phone sex in her attic
Who the fuck is "nick from the beach last year"
No idea hahaha...why?
He just texted me.. Should I ask where I met him?
Randomize
