I caught myself masturbating while watching a baseball game today. It was over before I realized what was going on. And then I was just confused.
It's confirmed. We did xmas carol the grocery store across the street from his building at 2:30am... Only the staff was there.
I figured you left because I was a shit show. Were you still there when I got locked in the bathroom and didn't know where I was? If not, that could have been a dream. I'm still not sure.
Last I remember we played rock paper scissors for who would fuck the guy with cowboy boots on and I won..
Remind me to call McDonald's to give a good review of Ruth. She truly demonstrated grace under pressure.
He's worked out some sort of arangment where all three of them are dating each other and they've all moved into an apt. with two king beds pushed together
A true beacon of hope in these dark times
it's my birthday, i should be around people i want to fuck
I'm so excited for post-beer fest chipotle. It will be better than scared shitless pre-go karting chipotle.
He stared me down while singing "Let Me Love You" to me while we were having sex. I don't know whether to marry him or file a restraining order.
You reeked of guilt and shame and we offered you pancakes
We could have mediocre awkward sex or mediocre stunted/awkward/uncomfortable banter. The possilities are relatively finite
He doesn't like Sabbath and that alone is a GIANT red flag. Learn from my experiences and never, I mean NEVER associate with people that hate Black Sabbath and Motörhead.
I'm like a hairless cat ready to be ravished
The waitress at the Denny's in usa remembered me from 2 years ago when we went at 4 in the morning plastered, wearing overalls and huge inflatable corona hats on our heads
In hindsight I shouldn't have been blasting Antichrist Superstar if I didn't want to seem suspicious driving up to a Catholic church
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