Me too. Send a cab. Order food.
The spoon I was using to ice my hickey just fell out of my purse while i was paying at the liquor store. I look like an alcoholic with a meth problem.
I swear if I see one more guy in a v-neck and fedora I'm going to punch someone in the balls. This is philly, you're not supposed to look like Ryan Cabrera
bring money and cleavage
all i remember is stealing his cheesepuffs and shaving my vagina in the hotel lobby
You disinfected one of his friends, buttered the jeans of the other one. And you poured every liquid you could reach on the floor, including cooking oil and green tea. It wasnt a great first impression
I want him to be my next love. So I'm taking it slow
As in ill only blow him next week
Wat the fuck dude ketchup in my bong???
he threw my burrito on the ground and said im too drunk. fuck that guy.
I seriously think I got run over last night.. My sides are bruised and I got a ride home in the limo from the office.
I just sent a snapchat of my boobs for Adderall. It's finals season.
Yeah, I've hit on priests at bars, too. Such a shame, there are a lot of hot men out there who've devoted themselves and their glorious genitalia to the Lord -_-
At one point I was counting his nipple hairs to calm myself down.
I need to stop getting so drunk at bowling
He's smoked my weed, stolen my cigarettes, and used my campus cash, but I try to initiate sex and NOWWW he's all "As your RA, that's a line I can't cross"
Randomize
