so ur a construction worker, male escort, sex god and surfer? lol
well its been awhile since I've surfed
You know those ponds where you go and pay $5 and your guarranteed to catch a fish thats how i describe her
We shouldn"t be alone together
you didn"t say that yesterday
you weren't married yesterday
Chasing shots by shotgunning beers is not a good idea.
The last thing I remembered was laying in the bathtub fully clothed with the shower running while he was picking grilled cheese out of my hair. I couldn't figure out if i was more upset about being soaking wet or the fact that my grilled cheese was in my hair instead of my mouth.
I stuck a note to his door with my gum explaining why i couldn't spend the night. as i was walking away, he opened the door...i fell down and played dead. deffinitly didn't see me.
No, but its not like diarrhea. i swear its like my intestines had a secret bank account and i just punched in the right pin.
See what happens chris. I told u not to invite her over. Now shes on her way to jail and were stuck with two pomeranians.
No no no no no no.... That's my emergency bottle for when I realize I've hit rock bottom
I am both excited and frightened by the fact that this much everclear is legal here. Best vacation ever.
We can do this. We've been drunk at a gay bar, we will not be taken down by a Tuesday.
Megan brought her friend up last night, greeted her by drunkedly taking a piss all over her duffle bag of clothing
You have to start asking people if they're gay before you kiss them..
Just bought weed from the ice cream man. The kid in front of me got a tootie fruitie.
I have the relationship skills of Miley Cyrus and I could've said this was a bad idea
Randomize
